Predators. They’re the kind of thing you only envision in movies. You tell your kids not to walk alone, and not to talk to strangers. Not because you really think something will happen to them, but because it keeps your parental instincts at bay. 

But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that a predator would live and operate so close to home. Don’t get me wrong, Cessnock can be a rough place. A couple of years ago we went through a phase where every other day we were hearing about stabbings at East end. 

But this is different somehow. 

It has been impossible to avoid the media coverage on the rape and abduction that took place in Newcastle this week. 

Police search the park and question potential witnesses as they search the area.

On Tuesday morning, an 11-year-old girl was abducted from a park at Adamstown Heights on her way to school, where she was raped. Afterwards, she was taken to bush land where she was raped a second time. After a harrowing five-hour ordeal the child was left at the Kotara train station, where she walked over a kilometre to her grandmother’s house.

What puzzles me is the contrast between the culture we live in today, and years ago. Our parents tell us about when they were children. The way they used to walk to and from school, walk the streets of a weekend, even riding their bikes on the street at night. 

Nowadays, parents are reluctant to allow their children to walk to school. If they let their children walk to school, they are not alone, and if, worst case, they have to walk alone, they are equipped with a mobile phone and maybe even pepper spray. 

How often do we hear on the news about children who walk out their front door and disappear without trace? 

On our home turf we have instances like Daniel Morcombe, whose parents only recently finally received the closure of having their son buried. Meanwhile, the search for William Tyrell is ongoing. 

“Back in the day”, these things supposedly didn’t happen. Yet there are some cases which will never leave our minds. The Beaumont children left home on 6^th January, 1966 and never returned home.

The Beaumont children.

In the UK everyone has heard about the Moors Murderers Ian Brady and Myra Hindley, who murdered five children between 1963-1965.

The Moors Murderers Ian Brady and Myra Hindley, 1965.

So, is the presence of predators on the rise in our society, or are we just more aware of them now?

With the presence of things like security cameras, smart phones, social media, and the technology-driven society we live in, I don’t understand how it is possible for a child to be abducted from a park in a busy town without a single person noticing something suspicious. That could just be me though. 

With today’s technology and the access to information we have, one wonders if abuse against children has just become more overt than it used to be.

There was a time not so long ago when the parent was always right. They raised their child how they saw fit. If they chose to discipline their child with violence, it was their right. If they wished to violate their child behind closed doors, nobody would know, because the child would be too fearful of what would happen should it be mentioned.

Of course, these ideas are all purely speculative. It seems since the beginning of time parents have been warning their children not to take lollies from strangers or get into their car with them, but I am just wondering what has changed over the years. Furthermore: What can we do as a society to stop sexual predators like the one who struck in Newcastle on Tuesday night? Should we make a register that every neighbourhood has access to to know if a sex offender is living in their neighbourhood? Should there be a change in court proceedings so that rape victims don’t have to go through the ordeal of facing their abuser? Should education for health professionals be improved to better spot a potential predator?

Sadly, there is no single right answer to these questions. All we can do at this point is keep our loved ones close to us, and hope that incidents like this one can be avoided in the future.

For the moment, according to news.com.au, “The attacker is described as chubby with short black messy hair and wrinkles on his forehead and around his mouth, spoke with an Australian accent, and drives a red Commodore.”

Anyone who has any information should contact Crime Stoppers.

My dearest hopes that this offender is stopped in his tracks before he hurts anybody else.

Xoxo Brett

Alright, you probably think I’m being cruel with this one. But just hear me out. We see victims everywhere. On the playground, we see children victimised by bullies. We see cats victimised by the neighbour’s dog, and when we get older, we sadly hear on the news about people who become murder victims.

These are all very sad and unfortunate scenarios. But something one needs to remember is that there are always at least a couple of different ways to look at things.

There is another kind of victim, and I’m sure all of you have come across at least one in your time. This kind of victim chooses to be a victim. In their mind, they have a horrible life with nothing to look forward to. Everyone is against them, and the reason they fail at everything they attempt is because of the sad circumstances in their life.

There are some more specific things to look for in a victim who chooses to be a victim.

1. They are exhausting to be around. Any time you spend with them is draining your energy, and even when you change the subject to a happier topic, they still find a way to turn it upside down.
2. They have little motivation in life. They spend the majority of their time sleeping and little time working or doing anything constructive. They never try anything new or exciting. They choose to stay stuck in a rut. 
3. They never take responsibility for their actions. Say, for example, they have a disagreement with a loved one, they refuse to see both sides of the argument. In their mind, they are just being ganged up on, as usual.
4. They are constantly having problems with people in their life. They may have had to change phone numbers several times due to people “harassing” them, and there are probably a number of family members they have cut out of their lives due to a disagreement.
5. The unfortunate things that happen to them are always somebody else’s fault. Don’t get me wrong, some things might genuinely not be their fault, but again, it is how you look at things.

The main thing that victims don’t realise is that by being a victim, you are being a passive occupant in life. You are merely a product of the things that happen to you, and the only way you can react is to let them get you down.

The difference between a victim and a victor, is that the victor is an active, living person. They react to the events in their life, take something valuable from them, and move forward.

Of course, this is easier said than done. But there are just a few ways to jump out of the victim cycle and into the victor’s.

1. Be positive. This requires far less energy than it does to be angry or sad. You can do this by remembering there is always someone worse off than you. One fool proof method to this is to count ten things you’re thankful for when you go to bed each night. Maybe even put a photograph of the most important people in your life on your nightstand to remind you why you’re happy to be here.
2. Take charge! Yes, you might have had some truly traumatic and horrible experiences in your time. Taking charge doesn’t mean that you’re forgetting these things. It simply means that you’re taking a life lesson, and drawing a line under the experiences so you can move forward with your life.
3. See both sides of every situation. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It doesn’t mean you’re being a pushover and letting them have their way, it just means you’re taking their point of view on board.
4. Take responsibility for your own actions! Yes, you may have responded to something as a result of something else, but two wrongs don’t make a right! This doesn’t mean that you’re wrong in standing up for yourself, it simply means that you are acknowledging that maybe you could have handled the situation differently. The best thing you can do if you feel ‘victimised’ by others, if you still cannot come to an understanding, is to walk away. In doing this, you’ve got the closure of knowing things haven’t worked out, and you’re the bigger person by leaving with your dignity intact.

Situations like these most likely require months worth of sessions with a psychiatrist. But just remember, it just depends on how you see things.

A victim is a passive being with no control or say over their life. A victor is a sentient, active person who chooses to do what makes them happy because they know it is the best way to be.

I guess one of the most important things to remember is that life is for the living. Choosing to be happy and appreciative requires far less energy than choosing to be angry and sad at the world. To quote Albus Dumbledore,

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of places. If one remembers to turn on the light.”

Happy thoughts to all during this cold winter.

xoxo Brett

These are the kinds of teams most people are familiar with. You’d be surprised at how many different kinds of teams there are!

I know what you’re probably thinking: cricket, soccer, football, basketball. Trust me, I wouldn’t write a sports story of my own free will.

To simply say, “Work together and get the job done” is incredibly naive, especially when we all know that there are some personality types which just do not go together. However, there are several basic pitfalls presented to teams which every member should be aware of. These few tips could make all the difference to your team and the goal you’re striving for:

I feel this is relevant in many cases!

1. Don’t jump in and take over the whole project. Trust me, there is one in every group. The dominant one who jumps in, tries to take charge and wants to be the boss. Let the other members find their place and say their piece. Chances are, they might be shy and don’t want to look like they’re trying to take over. In saying this however, find the happy medium. Make sure everyone is having their say and each part of the project is being fairly allocated based on each member’s abilities.
2. Be assertive, not aggressive. If you have an idea that you think could really work, speak up. Chances are nobody else has thought of it. But don’t shove it down their throats. Calmly explain why you feel the team would benefit from using your idea.
3. Don’t just be the Yes Man. You might think you’re being nice by saying, “I’ll do whatever you tell me to do”, but the other members in your group will grow impatient quickly if they feel like you can’t stand on your own feet in the team.
4. Keep the lines of communication open. Make sure each member of the team can contact you, and make yourself available should you, or they, have any questions. A Facebook group chat is perfect for this sort of thing, and this way, nobody is excluded.
5. Make sure you are doing your allocated share of the work. It is unfair if the rest of the team has to pick up your slack. As we all know, sometimes stuff comes up in life that we can’t control, the old “Shit happens” expression fits here nicely. However, make sure you’re doing your absolute best to hold up your end.
6. Be organised! Make sure you have made arrangements around your other life commitments to be a member of the team. There is nothing more frustrating than when you miss an important team engagement because of your own poor organisation.
7. Be upfront. If things aren’t quite going the way you think they should be, or you don’t feel that another member is doing what they should be, tell them to their face in a diplomatic way. It is difficult, but it is still better than bitching about them behind their backs and causing further friction within the team.
8. Don’t be the one that drops out at the last minute. How many times have we heard of the lead up to the big day; the due date, the big presentation, the big game and someone suddenly comes down with a vomiting bug, or has a panic attack. Do not be this person. Keep yourself healthy, and if necessary, have some Rescue Remedy to calm those nerves.

1. Do not rise to the bait. The only reason a bully will bait you is to make themselves feel good, and make you look bad. A sly comment nobody else hears will probably make you feel a little better, but remember, you are a better person than they are, because you don’t need to put others down to feel good about yourself. Do not get upset or blow up in anger, because this is what they want.
2. Speak logic and truth. It goes a long way! Speaking sense and logic to a bully will knock them off their feet, and leave them unable to fight you. Being calm, apologetic and sympathetic to them will anger them even more because what they want is to upset you. By doing this, you are telling them that it is not going to happen. 
   

   This is a quote by sevenly.org which I felt was very relevant.

3. Try talking to them about their behaviour. If this is a long time friend, this will shock them even more because it will lay bare the truth. Either they are acting out because of something they think you did to hurt them, or it is just a result of their own low self worth. This will end either in complete denial from them, or a happy revelation. 
4. If all else fails, ask yourself: Is this someone I want to have in my life? This could be your friend, employer, even just an acquaintance. But in the time you have known them, just think how much energy you have wasted wondering what you can do to improve things with this person, and how you can make them happy. It is disappointing when we have to think this way, but sometimes, for your own sanity, you just need to walk away.

This week’s film review is the delightful adaptation of the children’s book written by Beatrix Potter in his mischievous and troublesome adventures in Mr. McGregor’s garden.

The live action/computer animated film Peter Rabbit, directed by Will Gluck, released in February this year features star actors Rose Byrne and Domhnall Gleeson, and the voice talents of James Corden, Daisy Ridley, Margot Robbie, Elizabeth Debicki and Colin Moody. Peter Rabbit, his cousin Benjamin and his sisters Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail, spend their time getting into trouble as each day they break into Mr. McGregor’s garden and steal his vegetables. Their human friend Bea (Rose Byrne), who also cares for them is oblivious to their mischief, and always defends them to Mr. McGregor.

However, the film takes an unexpected turn as Mr. McGregor suffers a heart attack and dies, leaving his entire estate to his great nephew, Thomas: an obsessive control freak from London (Domhnall Gleeson).

After being fired from his job at Harrod’s in London, Thomas reluctantly heads to his new estate to check it out. When Thomas meets Bea and they have an instant connection, it becomes an all-out war between Thomas and the rabbits. Once again, Bea is oblivious to the fact that the rabbits and all their animal friends continue to steal from Thomas’ garden, and the rabbits have no intentions of sharing their friend Bea with anyone.

Peter Rabbit has grossed over $300 million worldwide and is the seventh-highest grossing film this year. Within the first few minutes, it was easy to see why. The film opens with birds singing before Peter leads his mischievous friends into Mr. McGregor’s garden. Soon enough, Rose Byrne makes her entrance as Bea. I have seen this woman in several films, yet the most memorable for me is her part as the conniving, scheming queen bee friend from Bridesmaids,

“Oh hi, I’m Helen!” I just couldn’t resist throwing in the link below.

The original ‘Peter Rabbit’ book by Beatrix Potter.

Another striking feature of Peter Rabbit is the irony of the dialogue and storyline. Beatrix Potter’s children’s book depicts a naughty little rabbit and his friends. Despite being traumatised by the loss of their father to Mr. McGregor, they continue to steal from his garden. An innocent enough storyline. If I am honest, the feature film is anything but innocent. You have Peter (voiced by Corden): with his dry wit and sarcastic personality and his sidekick Benjamin (Moody). Meanwhile, you have his three sisters. Cotton-tail (Ridley) is out there and just plain crazy, while Flopsy (Robbie) and Mopsy (Debicki) constantly fight over who gets to do what on the basis of, “I’m the oldest”. The creators of the film essentially made a sequel to the classic story and tailored it to the hearts and laughs of the twenty-first century.

The combination of Peter, Benjamin, his sisters, their menagerie of animal friends with a perfectionist, controlling human to antagonise, an innocent artist to love them, along with the voice talents, realistic animation and soundtrack creates the perfect comedy for all ages.

One more aspect of this film is the amazing potential it has for retailers. Just imagine how many more copies of Beatrix Potter’s book have been sold since its release.

Furthermore, the toy stores will now gain a vast array of plush dolls from the film for fans to collect.

With each of these factors in mind, my word on Peter Rabbit is 4/5 stars, and I highly recommend it to adults looking for a fun couple of hours to spend with the kids, or just a funny film you can enjoy again and again.

When it is released on DVD, this one will definitely be added to my collection.

We all like to think we have fairly active social lives. However, at the risk of sounding like an old man, I feel that social media has killed our ability to approach people, speak to them, engage them in conversation and make them feel comfortable. Think about it. We meet people on platforms like Facebook and Twitter, then potential lovers on Tinder, Plenty Of Fish and RSVP, and those awkward first moments are null and void thanks to that internet connection and phone in our hands.

These days, once something is Facebook official, that is it. You’re Facebook friends, so you’re friends. Even if you haven’t spoken for years, and don’t even like each other. This is in stark contrast to real friends who see each other on a regular basis, catch up for coffee dates, and share their intimate secrets.

But let’s think about this. A lot of us are in the same boat. We finished school, kept one or two life long pals, we might socialise with someone from work on the odd occasion, but apart from that, we run in the same circles. Everyone else in our life (apart from our close family) we keep in touch with on social media when we wish them a happy birthday and “like” the photos they upload. Apart from this, there is little need to speak to new people.

It is even more daunting when we have to do things like ring up to make appointments, or worse still, attend a job interview. The thing is, the ability to talk to people is a very underappreciated skill. Cliché as this will sound, nobody is smart enough to have everything. By this, I mean that some people I have met have all the confidence in the world when it comes to meeting new people, striking up a conversation, building a rapport with people and making friends. However, get them to write a sentence and they can’t spell basic words. I have also witnessed the opposite, where I have met people with high literacy skills, but couldn’t converse with a stranger to save their lives!

I will admit, when it comes to writing, I feel confident in my ability to prepare. When putting forward my point of view in my own time, I can think clearly and write down exactly what I think and word it in the best possible way. However, I know I struggle to think on my feet when it comes to a live discussion (hence why I fell flat when I joined the debate team in high school!). Some people may be lucky enough to have both of these abilities, yet they might lack the ability to, for example, make good financial decisions. Anyway, you get my point.

Let’s use our imagination. You accept an invitation to dinner with a group of new people your colleague has introduced you to, in the hope of sparking up some friendships. You want to make a good first impression and have them leave thinking: “I like this person. I want to get to know them better”.

1. When you first meet, make an effort. Ensure you greet your new acquaintances with warmth, and you make the effort to learn their names. One method which I always find effective is to repeat it back to them. “Hi, my name is Stephanie.” “Hello, Stephanie. It’s lovely to meet you.”
2. Act interested. The worst thing you can possibly do at a first meeting is sit there mute making no contribution to the conversation, or worse still, play/text on your phone. Generally, the other party will feel no motivation to get to know you if you don’t care enough to hear what they have to say.
3. Go to the meeting with the intent to find out more about everyone. Make a list in your head of five things you want to know from everyone, for example:
   • What their name is
   • How old they are
   • What their favourite hobby is
   • What their occupation is
   • What their favourite television show is
     • In doing this, you’re not only learning, but you’re also showing them that you’re interested in them.
4. Go to the meeting with pre-prepared conversation topics in case of an awkward silence. People always joke about people who talk about the weather, but it is actually a hidden gem. The weather is an amazing ice breaker because it is universal; literally everyone in the world can relate to it. Maybe also try to find out a little about their jobs, interests and hobbies ahead of time.
5. Positivity is contagious. Use that to your advantage! People always want to be around someone who lights up the room and makes them smile. Being down and feeling sorry for yourself is exhausting, not just for you, but everyone you encounter.
6. Look for a common interest. Find something you have in common with the other person/people that you can bond over. For example, films starring Anne Hathaway. When her next film comes out, you could use that as an excuse to invite them to go and see it!
7. At the end of the meeting, always offer a warm hug or handshake, with an expression like, “This was fun. We should do this again some time”. If you’ve used the previous tips, with any luck you will leave with some friend requests on your social media accounts, and some phone numbers.

This all sounds very easy, but some people are probably thinking, “I’ve tried this many times, and left each time without any friend requests or phone numbers”!

Meeting new people in an informal setting, say, a pub dinner presents many pitfalls. Be sure to be conscious of these things.

1. Don’t just talk about yourself. We all love to talk about ourselves, but like chocolate, moderation is the key. If you start to feel like you’ve done nothing but talk, step back. Ask them something about themselves.
2. Watch for subtle social queues. If your company is boring or unappealing to others, chances are they will be too polite to tell you upfront. If you’re telling a story, and your recipient isn’t making eye contact with you, they’re not interested. If you’re suddenly interrupted, and afterwards they don’t say something like, “You were saying…?”, they’re clearly not interested. Do not continue with the story.
3. Try not to stand out in a negative way. Observe the situation and adapt to it. If everyone else is eating finger food and garlic bread, don’t go ordering the big spaghetti plate which will be messy and awkward to eat. If everyone else is having one or two glasses of bubbly, don’t be the one that skulls ten and makes a fool of themselves.
4. Do not discuss politics or religion. These are extremely sensitive topics which can destroy friendships before they even begin. Even if there is a window there and the topic comes up, stay neutral and try to be respectful of what other people say, even if you don’t agree with them.

Meeting new people is something we all need to learn to do, whether it is making new friends, meeting our in-laws or the more daunting meetings like job interviews. Social media has definitely deprived the next generation of some social skills necessary to flourish in life, but with these tips, making new friends and talking to strangers should be a little easier.

Happy socialising,

xoxo Brett

1. Do you resent the person in question? When something positive happens to them, does it make you angry or jealous?
2. When you interact with the person in question, is it negative? Do you leave feeling worse than when you arrived?
3. Does the person in question put you down in order to feel good about themselves?
4. Do you feel that the person in question does not respect you?
5. Do you feel that your relationship with the person in question is weighing down your life?

Always try to take a lesson away from every experience.

If your answer to any of these questions is YES, chances are that your relationship with said person is not a healthy one. Obviously there are two sides to every story, so my idea here is not to make one person into a victim and the other into a villain. I want to break this down. There are many different kinds of toxic relationships you could find yourself in. If a particular relationship is causing you pain, heartache and negativity, most people’s first instinct is to get rid of them. If it is a friend, cut them out, and block them on social media. If it is your boss, you hand in your resignation and find something else. However, when it comes to family, the answer isn’t so easy. 

1. Was there ever a time when my relationship with this person was a positive one? Did a particular person or incident incite a negative change?
2. Have you tried to reconcile your differences? By this, I mean: Have you stepped back, really looked at the situation, seen where you were in the wrong and acknowledged that?
3. Have you come forward selflessly and voiced your thoughts and feelings?

If you know in your heart that you have done everything in your power to repair your damaged relationship, it might be time to step back for a little while. 

A quote I found and really liked. Basically, respect, even self respect is a two way street.

This about sums it up. Even if it hurts, you have to do what is right for you.

Who knows what the future could bring. Your letter could bring you back together, or help to end the painful episode in your life.

Continue reading →

The stage at 6pm as the excited fans waited.

It was 2011 when I first saw Rupert Grint feature in Lego House: a new soft, easy-listening song by a British guy named Ed Sheeran, who also happened to have red hair. Little did we know then that Lego House would only be the beginning of three smash hit albums, three world tours and billions of fans worldwide. 

Ed Sheeran’s Divide tour has actually broken a record in Australia, having sold over a million tickets. 

Last weekend saw Ed Sheeran’s Divide tour grace ANZ Stadium in Sydney for three nights in a row. 

A Word From Brett was fortunate enough to secure a seat in ANZ Stadium on Friday night. After hearing traffic warnings all over the radio, we made the decision to drive to Sydney early in the afternoon, and arrived at the stadium shortly before 6. Sheeran was supported by Irish singer Ryan McMullen and our own Missy Higgins, who warmed us thoroughly as the anticipation for Ed grew.

As 8:45, aka show time loomed, the stadium filled with people. Sitting four rows from the top of the stadium, you could say I had a bird’s eye view.

By 8:40, the stadium was packed.

At 8:45, the lights went out, and a spotlight and cameraman followed a humble, red-headed guy in a blue flanno as he walked to the stage. 

Ed Sheeran’s Divide Tour.

Little did I realise until he mentioned it, Ed was not only the lead vocalist, but also the entire band on his own as he held his guitar and created a drum beat using a loop pedal. 

For two hours, the audience enjoyed a set list packed with songs from all three of Ed’s albums. From the reminiscent Castle on the Hill, love songs Seventeen and Perfect, to provocative Shape of You, the entire audience was captivated. Ed even received a standing ovation as he returned for an encore. Check out the video below!

At the risk of sounding like a security guard, the evening spent at ANZ Stadium was completely trouble free. Even as the 78,000 fans descended the stairs to exit the venue, and we waited over 40 minutes to board a train back to Strathfield, the vibes were nothing but positive. Yes, it was a little off putting as drunk people sang at the top of their lungs as they headed home, but there was no denying the happiness everybody was feeling.

Music is such a funny thing. Fundamentally it is the use of one or more instruments in a particular tune and melody. When lyrics are added, these can be used to tell a story, express a point of view, share feelings. Soon, you have more than just three minutes worth of catchy music. You have a song. 

What has struck me the most is how an ordinary boy from Suffolk, England can bring 78,000 people together on one night, not to mention billions of people worldwide; putting smiles on their faces and love in their hearts. His cool, easy going spirit invokes this response from all walks of life old, young, male, female. There is no discrimination with Ed Sheeran fandom, but what is it that everyone is so attracted to?

Personally, as a male fan I love Ed’s catchy lyrics and carefree sentiments. There is something so normal about the commentary on his life through his songs. However, there is also something attractive about his personality. Ed is famous worldwide, with three albums, three world tours, appearances on shows like Game of Thrones and Home and Away, as well as a multitude of awards under his belt. And yet, at his show, he told 78,000 of his fans that he thought he was “rubbish at putting on a show”, and thinks of the audience as his band. 

In the past, we’ve seen how fame can affect celebrities, and it is usually a similar storyline. Young boy or girl is discovered with a talent. They are thrust into the spotlight, suddenly earning millions of dollars, rubbing shoulders with other celebrities on the red carpet. They enjoy a few years of their newfound stardom before things start to go sour. They start suffering from depression, they can’t go anywhere without an army of bodyguards, everything they do ends up in the gossip magazines, and their family become more like servants. 

I know what you’re probably thinking. I am merely describing a stereotype, but how many times have we seen this happen?

I don’t feel that this has happened to Ed. There is something incredibly humble, down to earth and completely normal about his demeanour. Ed could be the friendly neighbour that you wave to every day, and have a beer with at the pub on a Saturday night.

For me, personally, that is what I like best about Ed Sheeran: the fact that he is still a completely normal person.

What do you think? Be sure to comment below. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed my first Word on Music. Stay tuned for more. Peace out for now.

xoxo Brett

A very happy St Patrick’s Day to all the wordy readers out there!
This is me avoiding the pinches those people get who don’t wear green today. As it is, this Carlsberg scarf is literally the only green piece of clothing I own. So in the spirit of the occasion, and a beer that many enjoy, on it went!
Be sure to keep an eye out as well. A Word From Brett is introducing something new and exciting very soon. So, drink safe, and watch this space! ✅💚☘🍀