So, it is official. Brett has been 30 for a month. I will be completely honest and say that I was extremely depressed, but after a while I decided to look at it differently.
Let’s be honest: we’re never happy with our age. As children we are desperate to be older: to drive a car, drink, earn our own money, have our independence. When we reach our early twenties, we can’t wait to see the world, buy our own house and get married.
As we get to our thirties, those of us who haven’t already started having their own family often start to hear the biological clock ticking. I suppose as a man, I don’t hear that clock ticking as much as if I was a woman. I’ll be completely honest and say that having children is definitely not on my radar. I feel that unless I hit 35 or 40 and suddenly start hearing that clock ticking, I do not see it happening. But you know what? This is the 21st century. There was once a time when our sole purpose of living was to grow up, reproduce, and then our job was done. Nowadays, life is so much more complex; there is so much more you can achieve in a lifetime besides having children.
It feels like only yesterday that I was celebrating my 21st birthday. I look back at photos and wish that I could look like that again. However, in other ways I do not envy that person at all. My 21-year-old self was an insecure, anxious person. In all honesty, I did not love myself and still thought that my high school years were the most significant years of my life. I compromised myself and my own values to keep friends who weren’t really friends. On top of this, I was too anxious to try anything outside my comfort zone and find what I wanted to be in life, let alone be my true self.
Nine years have passed, but in many ways, it feels like no time has passed. It is only when you look back at all the small things that have happened during that time that you realise how far you have come. Since 2012, I have travelled overseas four times. In 2015, I did the scariest thing I have ever done in my life (I still can’t believe I did it) and flew to London on my own to spend six weeks with my sister.
I have found love: In 2014 I found a man who loves me for all my imperfections and craziness. In 2016, we bought our first home together and in 2019, a year after marriage equality was achieved in Australia, we got married. That same year, I saw two of my favourite bands perform live: Aqua at So Pop in Sydney, and the Spice Girls live at Wembley Stadium in London.
Last year, I finished a Bachelor of Communication (Journalism Major) and am now studying English and Writing. Funnily enough, I do not regret anything I have done. Although I feel sad that I am getting older, I am also thankful for the life lessons my experiences have given me. I think the first thing I learnt was: Your school years are not the most significant years of your life. I spent so much of my life worrying about what certain people thought; insignificant, ineffectual people who I did not like and wanted nothing to do with. Yet, I was so worried about what they thought of me. How does that make any sense?!
To this day, I still suffer from anxiety. Sadly, some things do not leave you, no matter how much you try to beat them. This, however, is something I have been actively working on, and I am proud that in my adult life I was able to recognise it and address it.
While I am still mindful of potential ridicule and bullying from others, I feel I have also learnt how to read different people and get on better with them.
The second thing I learnt is interesting, because an interesting cliché I have seen and heard for years is: Be yourself and stay true to yourself. While I agree with this, I learnt to refine it to: Be the best version of yourself. I have always been a big believer in what goes around, comes around. If we choose to be a person that we love, and those around us love, while also staying true to ourselves, it is a win-win. If we are a person that we like, then it stands to reason that we will attract the same kind of people to us. It costs nothing to be kind, but the effect of kindness is priceless.
The third and probably most important thing I have learnt is that life is short. While I don’t feel the desire to spend money frivolously on wild benders and impulse items, I have realised as I have gotten older that opportunities are presented to us all the time, and if we don’t take them, we miss out on life. We miss our own life.
To sum up, turning 30 has been a huge emotional rollercoaster, surprisingly in more good ways than bad. I know that I have so much going for me, and still have a huge amount I want to achieve.
So, what is instore for the next ten years of Brett’s life? I want my stories to fill my pages for the world to see and enjoy. I want to work in the world of English and writing and make a difference in the community. I want to buy a beautiful townhouse with my husband and have a proper old-fashioned library with the cushy red armchairs in the middle of the room. When COVID19 is finally a thing of the past, I want to travel to America, Canada, Africa, Asia and see the rest of the world.
So, that is turning 30 in a nutshell! Growing older should not be a sad experience. It should be an experience where we look at our lives and recognised what we have achieved, what we have learnt, and what we want for our future.
Until next time!
xoxo Brett
