We all have that struggle in life from time to time. We don’t know what sort of person we are, and sometimes we manage to attract the wrong kind of people to us as a result of our own behaviour.

They say that those closest to us, and those not so close to us tend to know us better than we know ourselves. However, if you were to ask them, you would get a different answer each time. If you were to ask your significant other, you would probably be told what an amazing, kind, thoughtful person you are.

However, if you were to ask your ex, or a bully from high school they would tell you you’re nothing but a stuck-up snob.

I feel like one of the most significant issues to this question is the culture in which we live. Some old-fashioned folk will only give a man positive credit if he works all hours of the day and night, and a woman is at home keeping house and having babies. Some religious folk will tell you that a “good person” preaches God’s (supposed) word to everyone he comes across; that all gays should be executed for not following God’s wishes.

Meanwhile, the modern secular person will tell you that people who do this are not good people, no matter how much they preach. The more modern secular person will tell you that karma plays a huge part in our lives. If you are a good person, good things will come to you.

 

But how do you tell the truth from the lies? How do we know who is right? Can you say, with conviction, that you are a good person? This is a tough one, because nobody is perfect, and we’ve all drifted from the good side in our weakest moments.

 

1. Be honest with others. By this I don’t mean telling strangers that you’re ten years younger than you actually are, or that you tell your children Santa is real. There are some forms of dishonesty that are, to an extent, acceptable. For example, if your best friend has put on weight and she asks you if she looks fat, the polite thing to do is to lie and say no. However, there are more severe forms of dishonesty, which can take on many forms:

– Finding a $50 note on the ground and pocketing it rather than handing it in.

– Manipulating a situation to make yourself look like the victim, rather than taking responsibility for your actions.

– Blatantly lying to someone for personal gain.

2. Put others first. This can be something as simple as holding a door open to let others through. Other things might include giving to charity. Nothing here is set in concrete, it is just a matter of putting others needs ahead of your own. Ask yourself: in your day to day activities, who is the first person you think of: yourself, or the people you care about?
3. Think about how often you have conflict with other people. Ask yourself, why is this? We all like to think we’re not the instigator of conflicts. This could be a fight with a neighbour, family member, or verbal disagreements with workers in retail outlets. The fact is, if a similar sort of conflict has befallen you on more than one occasion, chances are it is either something you are doing, or you are attracting the wrong kind of person to you.
4. Take a long hard look at your circle of friends and acquaintances. By this, I mean, do all your friends have similar negative qualities? Worse still, do you feel like most, if not all your friends have up and left you? Chances are it is something you are doing wrong. It is impossible to control other people, but we can play a huge part in how others view us by the way we conduct ourselves and treat others.
5. Love and respect yourself. This sounds very self-indulgent, but the truth here is that it’s impossible to love or respect anyone until they’ve learnt to love and respect themselves. This is a massive cliché I know. The fact is, if you believe you are cheap and worthless, these vibes come through to the people you meet, and all you will get in return is being treated like it.
6. Be positive about life in general. This is often difficult, but the first step in doing this is to list ten things you are thankful for in life when you wake up of a morning. The fact is, positivity is contagious. Negativity is exhausting, and leaves people itching for that first excuse to leave.
7. Treat others how you would like to be treated. Another infamous cliche, yet oh so valuable. If you dropped $50, you would love an honest person hand it in to the lost and found. If you were working in a shop and had to deal with an unsatisfied customer, you would like them to be gracious and polite to you.

 

This probably sounds judgmental of me, like it’s easy to throw everyone into a category as a result of the things they do. At the end of the day, it is every individual’s duty to decide when they get up every morning what kind of person they are going to be. I hope you’ve enjoyed the first Tip From Brett for 2019! I can’t wait to bring you more!

 

All my love,

xoxo Brett