Yes, I know. Before you even say it, there are much nicer things to discuss than death. But we need to be realistic. It is an inevitable part of life which, at one point or another, each and every one of us has to experience. This includes both the death of our loved ones, and the death of ourselves. I’m thinking it will be now that many of my readers will stick their fingers in their ears and scream…
One very common misconception is that the death itself is the most difficult thing to get through. We figure, if we can get through those long hours at the hospital before our loved one finally takes their last breath, or we see their mangled body at the site of the horrific accident, we can get through anything.
This isn’t true. It is the aftermath that is the hard part. It is that moment after the funeral, when the body is buried, goodbyes have been said, and the last friend goes home. It is then that you have to figure out how you’re going to get on with your life.
According to experts, there are five stages of grief: denial, bargaining, anger, sadness, and finally acceptance. However, there is no given time frame on each stage. People have been known to reach acceptance in five minutes, while others have spent ten years in the anger stage.
Check out this video below!
This is one of the most difficult things about life. Everyone has their own journey to take. Life didn’t come included with an instruction manual, and at the end of the day it is up to the individual when they choose to put their life back together. 
Something else has crossed my path on this topic though. There is often an unspoken rule in our culture that only certain types of death and loss warrant grieving for. Many even get thrown the old, “Have a cup o’ cement!”
I’m going to tell you something. Recently, I lost someone very close and special to me. I have known him since the day he was born. I was here for many sleepless nights, 5am feedings, and shared many fears and hopes. He grew up to become a treasured member of the family. He had an attitude, but could also be loving and affectionate.
Even now, over a week since his death, I am struggling, and often have to fight off tears now when I think about him.
To clarify, I am talking about Rowdy, my beautiful black cat.
For some, this will provoke a head shake followed by, “It’s a cat! It’s not like a person died!”
But I ask: Why does that matter?
Grief and loss isn’t measured by genus and species. It is measured by the impact said creature had on your life, what they added to the quality of your life, and how you felt about them.
Sadly, there is no set time frame for grief. Acceptance is the final stage. I feel that many refuse to enter this stage out of fear that by moving past their sadness and getting on with their life, they are forgetting about the loved one they have lost. This is not true. It means that you are choosing to be at peace with your loss, knowing that they have gone on to a better place, and that our loved ones are never really gone as long as they are remembered.
Like I said, life comes with no instructions, and it can often be a bumpy ride. All we can do is use our best judgment and hope for the best.
My most peaceful and loving thoughts to all,
xoxo Brett
