We’ve all seen it before. Some of us are lucky enough to have only seen it on tv, but it is remarkably common. Most of us have just a select few special lifelong friends who we would trust with our life. Some will have a larger group of friends and acquaintances who they interact with from time to time but aren’t that close with. 
But, like every scenario in life there is that dark side to look out for. Some people are not genuine friends. Some people choose to play the part as a means to an end. In some cases in the school yard kids will suck up to the queen bee in order to move up the social ladder. In the prison setting you will see the frightened weak inmates do anything to gain protection; the old ‘If you can’t beat them, join them’ routine. Even in the workplace we see employees sucking up to the right people in hope of currying favour for that promotion.
These are extreme cases, but fake people are everywhere, and they will strike up “friendships”, and play it out until they have what they want, and then they walk away without a second thought.
But how do you tell whether you have met a sincere friend, or an actor performing a snow job?
- They arrive suddenly into your life after having known you for ages. This tends to happen after a sudden change. You either get a new job, win Lotto or come to possess something appealing to others. They act like they’re your best friend, even when you’ve made no effort to be their friend. This is not to say that new friends cannot be made. A genuine friendship would generally occur mutually after perhaps running into each other, striking up a conversation and going from there, or realising you have a common interest, bonding over it and growing closer from there.
- Their general behaviour is over the top. This could be something as simple as spending a ridiculous amount of money on a birthday or Christmas present for you. A sincere friend will generally measure a gift on its sentimental value, not on its dollar value.
- They are nowhere to be found when you’re having a crisis. Say, you have a death in the family. Naturally, your closest friends and family flock to your house with flowers and their condolences. The fake friend however will maintain a distance, because they don’t actually have any emotional connection with you.
- They feel threatened by your other friends. This is purely because they do not want to share what they’re after from you with anyone else. Plus, they probably know that your real friends can tell that they’re just pulling a snow job.
- As soon as you outlive your value, you never hear from them again. We like to think that most people have the common sense not to fall for this kind of person, but it does happen. After they have received that “loan” from your Lotto winnings, that promotion, or they’ve finally realised you’re not going to give them what they’re after, the two of you drift apart, or they find some excuse for the two of you not to be friends anymore.
A quote I found which felt very relevant.
It is hard to describe what a true friend actually is, but when we have one we know in a heartbeat that what we have is for real. Remember to use your common sense, and if ever in doubt, ask yourself what you could offer the person in question and why they might be trying to take you for a ride.
My sincerest, friendliest and happiest wishes to all.
Until next time,
xoxo Brett
